Friday Night Magic Stereotypes.

Every now and then, I come across a cute little blog or forum illustrating the 10 most common people you will find at Friday Night MTG.

These are always really funny but they don’t always fit in with the people I spend my Friday Nights playing Standard MTG with. Oh no, not at all. So, here is my ‘Nine people you are likely to encounter at my local FNM’.

The Newbie~
Everyone had got to start somewhere.. And chances are that start involves being thrown face first into MTG with a borrowed deck that is barely legal in standard and no knowledge of how to play. These encounters are often quiet and drawn out, due to the nervousness of the ‘newbie’ and the fact that their jerk friend has given them a control deck that involves thinking. While most people start out as a newbie, they eventually migrate into other categories after a few matches.

The Librarian~
These people tend to be players of MtG for years – they know their stuff. They are able to suggest cards off the top of their heads, and they will not hesitate to suggest alternative cards to fix a less than good deck. These people are well versed in all aspects of MtG – lore and rulings especially. Don’t expect them to let you make an illegal move because they will correct you. Phillip is one of these people, and I like to make fun of him. I probably shouldn’t because it’s an amazing ability to have.. Knowing cards from waaaaay back in the day.

The Jesters~
These players aren’t here for the Champion mats – they are here because they simply love MtG. These players often run painfully underrated decks with cards that are rarely the meta. It rarely works and they rarely end up at the top of rankings at the end.They do this for one reason, and one reason only – because losing to a shitty mechanic feels soooo bad.

The Socially Awkward~
They are so excited but they are kind of off with the social cues of others. You can usually tell these players are the awkward types only when they are giggling awkwardly in your personal bubble. Part of you feels incredibly uncomfortable and the rest of you thinks the over excited puppy vibes are kind of cute. Either way, the Norman Bates vibe tends to win out and you find yourself anywhere but in that situation. They are genuinely nice people you want to be friends with.. but from a socially acceptable distance.

The Obnoxious~
Gah. These players can be both good or bad when it comes to actual gameplay. Personality wise, these people blow. I have always believed that there is a right way and a wrong way when discussing things in regards to MtG and these players tend to be assholes. They tend to be terrible winners and terrible losers. These players tend to be so irritating to me that I won’t give them the time of day. Sportsmanship is a huge part of FNM and if you don’t have it, you shouldn’t play. Period. I don’t care what your forums say or whether something is ‘common knowledge’. You know what else is common knowledge? You are an asshat.

The Easily Distracted~
They are loud. They are rowdy. They are fun. Well, I hope they are fun because I am totally this person. I am well known for three things – shouting across the room, laughing too loud and swearing like a sailor. I’m also known to make idle violent threats and engage in completely unrelated conversations midmatch. I am a better than average player but let’s face it.. I’m more excited to be unleashed into a social environment than to win FNM. If I win, it’s a good day. If I lose, well expect some laughing, swearing and a possible threat on your mother. We get along with everyone and I think people are happy to play us. On hindsight, maybe they don’t like me but they won’t act on it because.. You know.. the threats?

The ‘Nerdy’ Girl~
I wouldn’t ever tell a person I’m a ‘nerd’. I’m a lover of Pop Culture. I personally can’t stand women that put on a ‘nerdy’ or ‘geeky’ persona just for the attention. Before I lose subscribers and get an influx of hate.. There is a difference between a girl that genuinely loves pop culture and gaming and can be called a nerd and a girl that flaunts the label like it’s some amazing label that makes her better than all other girls. If I can’t have a conversation with someone without them attempting to outnerd me on someway, I consider the relationship a lost cause and run for the hills. These players tend to be new and they either fail to keep up the facade and quit or I avoid them like the plague so I don’t have to deal with it. It’s players like this that lead to incorrect stereotyping of women that play these sort of things.

The Kid~
These players are literally children and you have got to love the guts they have. They bring their decks in and versus adults that tend to be very skilled in MtG. These kids have the best sportsmanship and you can see them getting better and better each time you versus them. It’s a great feeling knowing that these kids are going to grow up and play MtG. I wish I was playing at their age.

The Girl That Destroys~
Now, I’m not saying that everyone does it, but usually when you see a female with a deck you think one of two things. First, you look around to see if she has a boyfriend. If she does, you assume he built her deck. secondly, you think it’s an easy win. Little do you know that you are about to get your ass handed to you and she won’t even bat an eyelid. You fool. Never judge a Magic player by their boobs. It only leads to sadness.

All of these people make my local FNM as enjoyable as it is. You make friends out of these people and that’s what makes it so fun. And the less desirable people? Well it feels even better when you beat them over and over and over again. Of course.. You do so in the nicest way possible because you don’t want to be labeled an obnoxious player!